By Luke Sklar and Amber Hudson

Apparently a couple years ago Stephen Colbert mercilessly mocked the hipster Miracle Whip commercials during his show. You remember those commercials:  uber-stylin’ Millennials prancing around with mayo.  I only bring this up now because of what I saw on reddit.com last week.
It’s AWESOME!  Here’s the text version of the letter to Mr. Colbert:

Dear Mr. Colbert,

Recently on your show, you tapped into a sore spot in our nation’s psyche: the eternal struggle between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. And surprisingly, for a man of your impeccable intellect, you’ve chosen the wrong side. A side doomed to a painful, drawn-out, utter and complete defeat. Like the Plantagenet’s in the Hundred Years’ War. Or whichever one was the cat in “Tom and Jerry.”

Mr. Colbert, we found your attacks a little harsh, occasionally funny, and at times, wholly inaccurate (for the record, our target is 18-35, not 34). But unlike most advertisers who are so mayo, who would back down at the slightest whiff of controversy, and pull their advertising from not just your show but from your entire network and all its sister entities — we intend to do the opposite.

On Thursday, November 12, we will dominate the airspace on your show. With every commercial break, your viewers will be exposed to hardcore Miracle Whip attitude and revelry. You will see our legion of (as you call them) “mayo nay-sayers” snarfing sandwiches topped with our one-of-a-kind flavor in a very cool and totally hip way. They will be in your face and massively dope. It goes without saying, they WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN. And you will begin to see the soft, bland white walls of the mayo empire begin to collapse under the weight of its own whipped-egg pretentiousness.

Think about it Mr. Colbert. In a sense, we will own you.

We’re on a mission. We’re taking no prisoners.

We’re raising Hell, Man.

THE BOLD MARKETING TEAM AT MIRACLE WHIP

It deserves a HELL YEAH!  And this, from the sandwich spread company Kraft.  BTW, yes, they did as they said they would, reworking their ads to direct their message at Stephen.

I don’t know if it did anything for the brand, but THAT was some disruptive thinking.  And that got us thinking about brands that had the guts to disrupt.  Netflix did it.  So did Zappos.  Virgin, Dollarshaveclub.com and Dyson did too.

Disruptor brand create new markets, or at least new segments.  They move consumers forward.  Sometimes just a bit at first, but then they give them a big ol’ shove.  Each of these brands gave the consumer what they wanted.  Every brand must eventually, even if it shakes up the business model or drives the shareholders bonkers.

The tenet is you must disrupt, or be disrupted.

What happens of you don’t?  Kodak, Commodore, Sony, Eaton’s, AOL, Oldsmobile, is what happens if you don’t.  Wow, these are brands I grew up with.  Destroyed.  Huh.

Click to view full size

So what could you do?  Well, not every brand has to disrupt, but you may have to.  And if you do…

• Flip off the autopilot and reinvent.  Nike, Apple, McDonald’s, Harley Davidson all went  through a process of redefining their brands

• It doesn’t have to be a brand overhaul.  Disrupt through creative, media, packaging, promotions

• And fortheloveofgawd, stop playing it safe.  TAKE A RISK FOR ONCE!   Read Manoj’s blog “Be Brave, Go Fail at Something Today!”

What other brands have done a great job of disruption in their category?

By Luke Sklar and Amber Hudson

Fear.  It can sufficiently rankle nerves to cause instant paralysis; both the physical and mental kind.  Take myotonic goats for example.   When startled the leg muscles of these little guys freeze temporarily.  The result is as adorable as it is hilarious.  Check out the video.

Just for the fun of it, let’s compare marketers to goats.  There are many things that strike fear in marketers, hitting them with such speed that BAM!  before they know it…temporary paralysis, legs up in the air:

-       The most recent rolled up estimates are shorter than Snookie’s skirts

-       Your brand gets de-listed by WalMart (after all those soul-sucking meetings to get it listed in the first place)

-       A Costa Concordia-esque crisis

-       The President’s teenaged son kills the latest ad campaign idea with a simple “I don’t like it”

-       If finally hits you: your brand is the Nokia / Blackberry of the category

-       Negative chatter online (Gap logo anyone?)

-       Hitting “reply all” on an email summarizing the empirical evidence that supports your boss is a jackass

-       The new hire quits while 6 employees are on mat leave

-       Tiger Woods and Roger Clemens are your spokespeople

-       The typo on your coupon results in 5x the forecasted redemption rate

I’m sure you’ve had your own myotonic moments.  But it’s not about what happened, it’s about how you respond that counts.  After indulging in a brief “what the…?” those little goats get back up and keep on going.  Here’s what marketers can learn from these goats in the moment of crisis:

1. If you need to, lie down for a moment, and collect yourself
2. Then get up and define the problem
3. Identify 3 – 4 solutions, engage in scenario planning
4. Enter the conversation as soon as possible
5. Get smart people in a room to develop a thought-through solution
6. Don’t over react, that just makes it a whole lot worse

So the next time you’re faced with crisis, just think what the fainting goat would do.

By Amber Hudson and Luke Sklar

Luke saw this on a t-shirt on Facebook:

Heaven is Where:

The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French, and it’s all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:

The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss, and it’s all organized by the Italians.

In keeping with the theme of stereotypes, no doubt you’ve seen at least one of the Sh*t People Say videos:  Sh*t Girls Say, Sh*t Yogis Say, and our personal fave, Sh*t Market Researchers Say.

Stay with me…

Now have a look at this video from Sauza tequila (ladies…I know).

Hilarious, right!  But wait, aren’t we supposed to be offended by stereotypes? In a previous blog we discussed how stereotypes teach us the importance of laughing at ourselves.  Now we’re sharing lessons on how to effectively use stereotypes to connect with your consumer.  That’s right, go ahead and blatantly use stereotypes.   BUT!  Before you leap into a field of landmines, think about the t-shirt, the videos the tequila ad and what they all have in common:

• They lead with a velvet glove – they’ve earned the right to use a stereotype by first winning you over
• Great humour is rooted in truth
• (The videos) exploit provocative insights.  In fact, they know the target so well it’s almost as if they’ve been listening in on their conversations (jeggings are pants!)
• Those being stereotyped feel they are part of a special club
• They are clever, yet exaggerated and completely over the top ridiculousness
• …and not the slightest big nasty

So yes, go ahead and use stereotypes.  Tread carefully.  But if done right, your consumers will love you!

By Gloria Hong

I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of ordering off menu. While I can understand that this might feel like a slight to the chef who worked incredibly hard to craft a thoughtful menu, but sometimes I’m just not hungry for what’s in front of me. One time, I saw a chef preparing his lunch behind the counter and pointed to the delicious chorizo sandwich and ask if I could have one of the same. There was an awkward pause, but when our eyes met and he saw the almost lustful look I was giving his sandwich, he gave a hearty laugh as he gave me his and made another for himself. Shameful, I know. But as I expected, it was a really good sandwich.

But now, I don’t have to feel ashamed. Don’t like what’s on the menu? That’s OK, because there is a secret second menu! You heard me. A SECRET MENU.

I’ve known about secret menus for years. My experience is primarily with the Korean restaurants I’ve visited with my family over the years. Typically, it’s unwritten but understood. You can tweak a dish the way you would at home (extra sesame oil in the stone bowl bi bim bap please!) or sometimes they can make you something that you are craving (fried salmon heads please!). It’s great customer service and guarantees you’ll be able to eat something you like – even if the restaurant choice wasn’t yours.

Some restaurants have started to use the secret menu to reward loyal customers – those who have experienced everything on their menu and could use a change. For example, I love the soft shell crab sandwich special at Porchetta and Co. The inherently sweet flavor of the crab gets a hit of muted acid with the Meyer lemon mayo, packaged in a crispy panko coating under a soft Portuguese bun. What could possibly make this better? Well, when you’re ordering you can ask to “gangbang” your sandwich – which means to layer porchetta above and below your crab.

Other secret menus, aren’t so secret. They create chatter and buzz while making people feel like they are in the know. For decades, In-and-Out burger has offered one and you can even find their “not-so-secret-menu” on their website. The Burger’s Priest here in Toronto used to have a secret menu posted on their Facebook page, but now it looks like you’ll have to use your favourite search engine to (easily) find it. This article on Toronto Food Trucks boils down the appeal of secret menus and offers some great insight on how to use them as a marketing tactic.

And look who jumped into the ring; Starbucks, the king of specific and special, has their own secret menu. 

Secret menus are a great way to make your regulars feel special and get potential customers talking.  I’ve even contributed to one. You can get a secret menu item called “The Gloria” sandwich at Porchetta and Co. Just so you know.

By Cyndi Pyburn

The potential of shopper marketing is rooted in its focus on gathering insights about consumers when they are in the shopping mindset and applying these insights to influence their purchase decisions.  However, time and time again, there is much confusion around a consumer and a shopper insight.  These terms are often used interchangeably.  But they are quite different.  Here is some clarity around the two.   Research findings that tease out and clarify the underlying truths….

• in the pre-shopping state are consumer insights
• at the point-of-purchase are shopper insights

If it’s easier, you can think of the consumer as the ‘user’ and the shopper as the ‘chooser’.

These insights however, together, need to translate into a great shopper marketing idea – one with the ability to attract, engage, motivate and lead to product purchase.  Ultimately, if used effectively, these insights can improve loyalty and increase spending.

Let’s illustrate with a product we can all relate to — jam.  In ‘The Art of Choosing’ , Sheena Iyengar discusses the limitations of too much choice.  Research demonstrates that consumers want a variety of flavours in their jam selection – they love the idea of choice (consumer insight).  However, they overestimate their own capacity for managing these choices (shopper insight).  To prove the point, in a test, Iyengar set-up a jam tasting booth near the entrance of a specialty grocer.  Every few hours, the booth switched between offering an assortment of 24 jams and assortment of 6 jams.  As might be expected, 60% of the incoming shoppers stopped when 24 jams were displayed, but only 40% stopped when six jams were displayed.  However, when these same shoppers went to the jam aisle to pick up a jar, the shoppers who had seen only six jams had a much easier time deciding what to purchase.  Researchers have discovered that a small assortment helps narrow down choices whereas a large assortment leaves people confused and unsure of their own preference.  Of those who stopped by the large assortment, only 3% ended up buying a jar of jam – far fewer than the 30% who bought jam after stopping by the small assortment.

Enter shopper marketing solution(s) — Iyengar recommends four solutions:

1. Cut shopper alternatives – the aspect of ‘less is more’.  When Procter & Gamble narrowed 26 varieties of Head & Shoulders anti-dandruff shampoo down to 15, sales jumped by 10%.
2. Create confidence through recommendations – in some categories, you can’t get away with offering a small selection.  In offering a wide variety, you have to help shoppers navigate the complexity so they will have a positive choosing experience.  Helping shoppers to rank and structure their choice gives shoppers confidence in their choices by giving them easy access to expert reviews and recommendations.
3. Categorize shopper options – the LCBO does a great job of this.  Wines are categorized by white and red, by country, by varietal.  Vintage wines have their own domain.
4. Condition shoppers for complexity – shoppers can handle a large number of options, if they start off slowly and move toward more complex choices, all the while building their confidence.  A good example is car options.  Moving from simple choices – automatic or standard to engine size to bountiful options such as colour – both interior and exterior – consumers can handle their colour preferences as they have progressed from low choice to high choice.

Next time you are shopping in the jam aisle, take note of how many choices you have?  How is the shelf organized? ….. can you easily find your brand?  flavour?  Can you easily make a choice?

By Amber Hudson and Luke Sklar

Coachella is an annual 3 day music and arts festival.  It sounds pretty cool:  features a wide range of genres of music, including rock, indie, hip hop and electronic music.  It’s in the desert.  There are sculptures.  But then again, if yours truly thinks it sounds cool, then it probably no longer is.  Or at minimum its days of cool are numbered.  And the arrival of mainstream celebrities, with an air of desperate hope that a little “cool” will rub off on them, isn’t helping.  Check out these pictures.

Scraggly hair extensions – check

Peace sign – check

Floppy hat – check

Few days of facial growth – check

Designer clothes with a Salvation Army vibe – check

Before these guys showed up in droves Coachella was cool.  But now that it’s a perceived source of cool…it’s no longer cool.   When everyone starts to think you’re cool, particularly that horrible group called the mainstream, then you are no longer cool.  You with me?

There is no universal definition of cool.  But here’s what we think makes something cool:

• Someone or something that stays true to his or herself
• An individualist, doesn’t follow others, doesn’t have to try to be like others to be accepted
• Has a deep set of beliefs and always stands up for what they believe in
• Doesn’t blindly follow trends.  Cool is a state of being.

Funny, none of the celebs in the pictures fit these criteria.  So what brands are cool, by definition?  Lululemon, Starbucks, Apple, Audi, Bose, Harley Davidson.

How did they get there?  Well, these brands start with an unquestionably amazing product.  They are also very recognizable; the iconography is consistent across every single part of the brand.  They don’t try to be all things to all people – the brand is designed to the ideal target.  As a result they have a cult following.  There is an air of exclusivity, but appear to be reachable by everyone.  And, they sell an experience.  People aren’t buying the product; they are buying the experience the product offers.

Who failed miserably at all this?  Tommy Hilfiger, The Gap, MySpace, BodyGlove (remember that once-cool 80s brand?  Now available at your local WalMart.  Sigh).

So what about your brand?   Think it’s inherently cool?  You’re probably wrong.  Are you trying to be a little cooler?  Give it up.  At the end of the day, it’s perfectly fine to not be cool.  Learn from cool brands, but just be yourself and do what it is you do.  Growth will come.  And that’s cool too.

By Kerry Roberts and Jennifer Roberts

We think so, origins continue to delight. Mad Men season 5 premier drew a record 3.5 million viewers and created buzz with the new Mrs. Draper’s performance of Zou Bissou Bissou. Not to mention the countless trace your family tree websites.

What is it about the window into the past that intrigues us so? Salacious bits aside, we think it is “one part” you can always learn something….Take a look at this memo -  but we ask you to channel your inner Don Draper while reading – it’s sexist.  It was written in May 1931 by N.H. McElroy at P&G (he went on to eventually become Eisenhower’s Secretary of Defense).  This job description is said to be the origin of Brand Management.

While it’s fascinating to get a glimpse into the mind-set of a pioneer of branding, what struck us was exactly how much still holds true.

Here it is: How to be a successful Brand “MAN” (I know .….. but recall women had only been voting for 15yrs)

• Be a Data Digger: Know your business inside and out. Know why you are succeeding, and dig into the reasons for poor performance to plan corrective action.

• Hit the Field: Leave your office, often. Go and see consumers in action, your sales force in action, and the retailers. Face time mattered then, perhaps even more so now in the world of text, email, IM and social media.

• Delegate: Know what to pass along to your team so that you can focus on the big stuff.

And 2 favorites that we feel the brand Men (and even some Women) of today often forget:

• You support Sales, not vice versa. Do not look to the Sales force for growth. Your job is to build the brand, and to arm them with the tools to execute on the vision.
• Take full responsibility for Advertising – full stop. Your role is not to criticize and hope for the best. You alone are accountable for your brand’s message to consumers.

Now pour yourself a Scotch, beer or chardonnay, lighten up and make an action plan against each of these pillars in the coming weeks. We guarantee your brand (but not your health), will be better for it and bet the language will be a bit more flowery……….

Thank you to a smart marketer at Rogers who graciously shared this memo.

By Tasman Richardson

I’ve often heard people say, “Is it any wonder we feel insecure when celebrities who are already gorgeous still feel the need to digitally enhance their public image? I’m talking about removing every line on their faces, Photoshopping their bodies, etc.; and let’s not forget that’s after being done up by professional makeup and hair stylists. Well, celebrities, unlike us mere mortals, exist in a sort of limbo since they are rarely seen in the flesh. Imagine living your life entirely through remote representations, cardboard cut-outs, billboards, television ads, magazines. You’d be on display all the time. Not only that, but most of those displays would be larger than life magnifications of your face, which is something normally used to connect one-on-one, a tool meant to express feeling and reaction intimately and proportionately.

At that scale, both in terms of physical size and geographic coverage, the face is transformed into a symbol; it’s more of a logo than a human portrait. To give that logo personal context is another challenge. A big face can’t hang out with you and bond over coffee (although I have a few pals who say they’d be willing to try for that Gosling guy), so the only way to get to know these larger than life personalities is through publicity and big screen roles. All of this abstract remote information gets pooled together and forms an identity for us to latch onto. Naturally, steering a ship that big requires careful planning, so public identities need to be crafted and developed with clear direction so that there’s as little backtracking and revision as possible a.k.a. damage control. Sometimes this plan goes awry of course… ahem, Lindsey Lohan.

So, taking all that into consideration, it makes perfect sense that brand identities and celebrity public identities would have a lot in common. That’s why it’s even more impressive when celebs like Cate Blanchett volunteer to show themselves as-is and un-doctored, which she did in a recent issue of Intelligent Life magazine. It allows us to connect to the familiar textures and weathering that we see in our own mirrors; and, because of that common ground, it lifts the curtain a little, uncovering the machinery that is constantly working to preserve the illusion and maintain the gap between us and them. Brands that offer that kind of revealing view will always win with consumers so long as the intimacy is genuine. If Blanchett had followed her au natural magazine cover with an obvious sales tie-in (cosmetics, health food, etc.), the public reaction would have been worse than rejection. It would be a memorable violation of trust, a long-lasting post-it note of skepticism that would stick itself onto the collective consciousness.

One pattern for success can be seen through the Tom Hanks/Will Smith example: start small and work your way up. Both started in television sitcoms, which mean they were in our houses weekly for years. Then they worked up to the big screen, with more comedy, some action and some thrills, winning us over by starting out as ordinary (empathize) and later taking us to extraordinary (fantasize). Both Hanks and Smith have had serious dramatic roles that were totally loved by the public. And now their brands never seem to diminish even when they do take a misstep. (I’m looking at you Larry Crowne and that goes double for you I Am Legend.)

This kind of behaviour works because as they climbed the ladder of stardom, they took the time to connect with people… and then rose above the ordinary while taking us along for the ride. Successful brands that share this story could include Apple, Google, President’s Choice, and so on. We’ve seen this pattern reversed too. Take for example the brands and personalities that start so bold and serious, there’s nowhere left to go but down. Stars like Tom Cruise come off as flawless leading men but this uber aloofness invites close scrutiny by a public that feasts on failure. Think IBM, Sony, (and just about any bank you can name).

So, while the majority of brands would like to be seen as picture perfect, it seems people are more likely to relate to companies that openly expose their humble roots. By connecting with consumers early, brands can enjoy growth without alienation.

Is there a celebrity you root for? A rag to riches brand you follow or a company you love to hate? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

For more internetz related to this blog visit these links:

http://www.fashionfoiegras.com/2012/03/real-cate-blanchett-covers-economists.html

http://acidcow.com/famous/12311-celebrity-photos-before-and-after-retouching-47.html

http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com/

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2008-06-26-will-smith_N.htm

By Amber Hudson and Luke Sklar 

Listen up people!  A bunch of inner city kids are telling you what to put on your lips, your walls, your derrière.  Oh yes.  They are. 

Graffiti, or the more politically correct phrase street art (but you know how we feel about being PC, so we’ll stick with graffiti) has gone from what many simply hail as vandalism to a legit form of art and self-expression that is often found in, and sometimes on, respected art galleries.  But there’s graffiti – tagging, or what looks to me as nonsensical scribbling on bathroom walls.  Then there’s GRAFFITI:

 Even Toronto’s own Deadboy is setting trends, along with raising a few eyebrows over his use of Rob Ford as his muse.

Where I’m going with this is the subculture of graffiti artists has a profound impact on the mainstream.  Allow me to connect the dots.  Pantone is the definitive authority on colour.    Each year this New Jersey-based company scours the globe for inspiration:  travel destinations, entertainment, art and to a great extent…graffiti.  They also read people’s tone, mood, vibe and even the current economy.  Then they announce the Colour of the Year (2012:  Tangerine Tango) and trend junkies in fashion, automotive, retail, CPG, interior design and cosmetics get all in a tizzy and scramble over each other to slap the colour on everything from lipstick, to pants, cars, walls, dishes, etc.  So all those colourful jeans you’re seeing out there (Gap is clearly betting the farm on these babies) are influenced by graffiti, and are an indicator that the country is feeling more positive and upbeat. 

What can marketers learn from underground cultures?  We can learn from their passion.  And since underground movements are a reflection of the current state of society, we can look to them for new sources of inspiration.  We often say get out of your office and into the stores.  But take a step further and get into the streets.  Just look around you for those new creators of your creations.  Restaurants and CPG could look to underground foodie movements or street food.  Big brewers to home brewers.  Pet food manufacturers to those making home-made pet food.  Even tech companies to hackers.  It’s out there, all around us.  And you don’t need to skulk around a back alley.  Hit up websites.  You just need to take a good close look.

By Luke Sklar and Amber Hudson

It’s going to cost more for your thoughts and to make a wish in the fountain now that the Canadian government has put the kybosh on the penny.  And it’s about damn time!  I get it, sort of.  People become attached to things that hold sentimental value.  And look how the penny has pervaded our culture through imagery and adages:  the lucky penny, Penny Lane, Pennies from Heaven, collecting pennies as a kid, here’s my two cents, penny wise pound foolish, a penny saved is a penny earned and probably many other old-fart sayings I can’t recall.  Oh, here’s another one: to spend a penny – British slang meaning to urinate.

We can now add the penny to the list of defunct things we’ll prattle on about when we’re all in the old age home, along with landlines, DVDs, Coffee Time and fax machines.

Just like those clothes in the back of your closet you swear you’ll wear as soon as you drop 10lbs, that hideous salad bowl your Aunt Maud gave you as a wedding present, and the Toronto Maple Leafs, it’s time to let go.

Great marketers know when to remove the sentiment and let bad brands die.  We talked about these dog brands in our Know When to Kill the Dog post. What about your brands?  Have a good hard look at your line up; are there any that are sucking resources, weighing you down and need a little Kevorkian-like attention?

The penny is worth less than the metal on which it is stamped.  How about your brand?